1. “Third Star to the Left” (the old blog name) took too long to say.
2. “No Pants”is a little too free-wheeling for me.
3. “Sans-Culottes” is a sneaky way of saying “no pants.” But it’s French and I don’t speak French.

Back in my pre-adolescent days, when my shoe options were limited, my shoelaces were constantly coming untied. I tied good bows. Excellent bows, really. They just didn’t stick around long. My mom said I was too hard on my feet. I can’t decide if I should blame that on the tap dancing or if I just wanted to show the ground that I meant business.

Anyway, it got to the point where I would just never untie my shoes. I would create double-knotted monstrosities and leave them intact as long as possible. I developed a violent (yet surprisingly graceful) way of kicking off my shoes that both kept the laces tied and minimized the whole take-off-your-shoes-when-you-come-inside-DON’T-GET-THEM-ON-THE-CARPET process. It was quick. It was efficient. I didn’t have time to deal with laces. They brought me down. I had things to do. I needed to go from bike riding mode to nose stuck in a book mode with as little transition time as possible.

Now that I have an ever-growing number of grown-up shoes at my disposal, I own a grand total of three pairs of shoes with laces. There is an entire PANTHEON of shoes that do not require them: boots, flip flops, wedges, sandals, espadrilles, ballet flats, high heels, Mary Janes, slippers, the list goes on and on.

I have things to DO. Shoelaces will not defeat me!