You know that sensation when you drink cold coffee thinking it’s hot coffee? Your tongue retracts into your throat and you sputter and almost die a little bit. You know? Oh, no? That doesn’t sound familiar? Seriously? Oh, you’re just perfect, are you? You never mix up hot and cold coffee. You never forget which beverage you’re drinking. Good for you! You’re winning at life! I’ll get you a trophy! I bet you’ve never mistaken a carafe of old coffee at work for fresh coffee and poured some into a mug and pumped some hazelnut creamer into it and then took a drink and yelled because it’s cold, stale, and tastes like burnt carpet lint and then your co-workers come check on you because they think something’s wrong. BET YOU NEVER DID THAT!

I have exceedingly little patience these days. Chalk it up to being a new mother and the lack of sleep and the ill-fitting clothes and the no time to do anything ever. My nerves are frayed. Everything annoys me. All it takes is one little push to set me over the edge. And then I want to rampage. Like, give me Kylo Ren’s lightsaber and I will throw you one epic Dark Side temper tantrum.

But I don’t have a lightsaber. I have a keyboard. So get ready for me to drop a wicked list of things that I hate right now. Oh yeah, a LIST. Ooh, you’re shaking in your boots. Careful now, don’t drip any of that hot coffee on your precious, precious boots.

  • Leftover coffee
  • Weak coffee
  • Too much creamer
  • Not enough creamer
  • Powdered creamer
  • Powdered donuts
  • Not having any donuts
  • Not having any cinnamon rolls
  • Not having any pancakes
  • Not having any sugar
  • Being cold
  • Typing with cold hands
  • Being tired
  • Not having enough energy to type more

via Daily Prompt: Candid